Mother’s Day has always been special for me. As a child, I made little cards and homemade gifts for my Mom. My Dad would make sure she had a new rose bush or lawn ornament. Mom would have a special little gift planned for my Grandma, Dad’s Mom, as her own Mom had passed when I was merely 5.
As I grew, my Mother’s Day gifts included beloved plants or statues to adorn her yard. We always gathered together for a family barbeque with my parents. The day created quite special memories. When my own children came into our family, our family get together at my parent’s continued, in a larger way. I continued to find special gifts for my Mom and my kids did the same for me.
Mom discovered computers many years ago and enjoyed her desktop. We pooled our resources in 2008 and purchased a laptop to allow her to enjoy her computer in other areas of the house. I remember my oldest son helping Mom get it all set that same day. She was so happy with her new resource!
Later that year, complications from an auto accident took Mom from us. Emotions ran high during the weeks she was hospitalized, and then following as our family grieved and attempted to adjust to life without Mom.
There was a first to everything; the first Thanksgiving without Mom, my first Birthday without Mom, first Christmas without Mom, first Easter without Mom and then it came: the first Mother’s Day without Mom. I remember crying a lot during those months, and when I realized it was nearly Mother’s Day, I spent a lot of time in prayer. The tears flowed freely at times.
And then I remembered…
I remembered, or rather I realized, that my own dear Mom had had 42 Mother’s Days without her own Mom who had died of cancer so long ago. Since I had been so young when it happened, I had no idea how Mom had dealt with her first Mother’s Day without her Mom. How did she get through that time, with 3 young children of her own? I know she was close to my Dad’s Mom and I’m sure that helped. But no one is your own Mom, the woman who raised you, cared for you, was there for every good moment and the not-so-good. That special bond surpasses friendships. (And yes, a Mom by adoption qualifies, too!)
I made it through that first Mother’s Day. Everyone does. Life offers no other choice.
I cried a lot that morning, then toughened up, reminded myself that I was fortunate to still have my Dad and rest of our family with whom to spend the day, and counted my 9 blessings of my own. It wasn’t an easy day, but I made it through.
Mother’s Day changed forever…
Each year is now the same. It hurts to not have Mom here. I still wonder what Mom thought each year that we celebrated her, while she was without her own Mom. I feel quite selfish that I never thought of that, even as an adult. But I endure, as we all must.
Actually, I more than endure. I am blessed. I had my own Mom for 49 years. Many lose their moms at a much younger age. My Dad is still happily with us. I have 9 blessings of my own, most of whom show various resemblances to my Mom in one way or another. And I know I will see her once again, as the Bible promises.
Mother’s Day suggestion
As Mother’s Day approaches this year, I’ve decided that I need to share this with others as a means of reaching out. If you are celebrating your first Mother’s Day without your Mom, or yet another, or if have a friend going through the day without her Mom, find a way to celebrate your Mom.
I’m going to create a dedication garden. My mother loved her garden and when we all moved south, she still maintained a beautiful yard with ornaments, rose bushes, and other flowers. Her yard helped define her, and although I have not been successful in creating as beautiful a lawn as she has, it is my goal to do so. It will be my dedication to her and the love with which she showered our family, and a tribute to my own children and the love I hold for them.
Mother’s Day is not just about a woman, it is about our Mom
Mothers are not just a person. Moms are a connection of love from generation to generation. Moms guide us from tiny infants to independent adults. They cheer for us, discipline us, care for our needs before their own, and love us no matter what. God’s love shows through our Moms; mothers are one of His most incredibly special gifts.